We May Be Successful But Are We Truly Self-Aware? Why Investing in Self-Awareness Can Transform Success Into Fulfillment.
If you’re reading this, chances are you've achieved a lot, and maybe you assume that with every milestone, your self-awareness has grown. After all, as we move forward in our careers, gain experience, and see results, it’s easy to feel confident in who we are and how we show up in the world.
But here’s an interesting finding: the vast majority of us aren’t as self-aware as we think. According to research, while most of us believe we’re self-aware, only about 10% truly are.
This gap between perception and reality is huge.
There’s a cost to not fully knowing ourselves. It shows up in our relationships, in what kind of leaders we are, and in how we go through life.
Think about all the successful people you know - I guarantee there are one or two who aren’t fully aware of their impact or how they come across.
↳ A manager focused on team growth might think they’re supportive, but their micromanaging discourages their team.
↳ An executive may feel inspiring, yet without seeking feedback, they miss signs of discontent within their team.
↳ A leader who’s detail-oriented may not realize their drive for perfectionism creates pressure for their team and themselves.
↳ A parent offering constant advice may not see how it feels overbearing, leaving their child less confident in their own choices.
↳ Someone who values independence might not notice that by never asking for help, they’re unintentionally shutting out friends and family.
It’s easy to spot these gaps in others, but how often do we pause to consider if we have similar blind spots? Others might notice them, yet we rarely see them ourselves since we don’t often ask for feedback.
These examples are common because, without actively building self-awareness, it’s easy to miss how our actions and habits impact others.
What’s the cost of these blind spots?
➥ Slower career progression, strained relationships, missed chances to lead effectively, a limit on the impact we could have, and a surface-level reputation where respect isn’t genuine.
Why Self-Awareness Matters for Growth and Change
Every meaningful change in our lives starts with awareness.
When we understand what drives us, what holds us back, and how others see us, we’re equipped to make real progress.
Self-awareness isn’t just a “nice-to-have” skill anymore; it’s the foundation for personal growth and making a real impact.
True self-awareness can help us become inspiring leaders, more genuine friends, or the kind of parent our kids truly look up to and admire.
My Story
When I started my journey of self-discovery about 10 years ago, I thought I knew myself pretty well. I saw myself as smart, empathetic, understanding, caring, and self-aware. I figured I had a good grasp on my behaviour and intentions.
Then one incredible three-day course flipped everything upside down. It was eye-opening - I suddenly saw how many blind spots had been quietly driving my behaviour, affecting both my personal and professional life. That experience led to immediate changes that brought instant relief in key areas of my life.
But, of course, this wasn’t an overnight transformation - it was just the beginning.
(and I’m still learning, growing, and improving every day)
From that point on, I was hooked. I dove into books I’d never have considered before, took inspiring courses, tried out new practices, met new people, and had conversations that challenged my thinking in completely new ways. Each step on this path, like a piece in a puzzle, has gradually shifted my perspective and brought more positivity into my life.
One specific example from my professional life was uncovering my perfectionist tendencies. For the longest time, I wore my perfectionism as a badge of honour.
To me, it meant holding high expectations - for myself and for others. But as I looked closer, I saw that my need for "perfect" had deeper roots - an endless need to prove myself, constant worry about others’ opinions, a habit of overthinking, people-pleasing, and believing that only perfection was “good enough”. All of this led to anxiety and a lack of real fulfillment.
Once I recognized these patterns, everything started to shift. I let go of relationships that weren’t serving me, set healthier boundaries, spoke my truths, and prioritized my happiness instead of always trying to please others at my own expense. Each small step forward has brought me closer to a version of myself that’s true to my values, stronger both professionally and personally, and happier than ever before.
Internal vs. External Self-Awareness
Without going into too much detail, self-awareness is not as simple as it seems.
It’s a complex concept and crucial to understand holistically if we want to create positive change and personal growth. There are two sides to self-awareness: internal and external.
Internal Awareness This means understanding our inner world - our values, strengths, limitations, and motivations. It helps us recognize patterns in our behaviour and see where we can grow in ways that align with what truly matters to us.
External Awareness This is about understanding how others perceive us, which may differ from how we intend to be perceived. It involves being open to feedback to gain a clearer view of our impact on those around us.
We often focus only on internal awareness - if we even get that far! After all, when do we really have the time to reflect and ask ourselves deeper questions? But even when we do, we tend to overlook the importance of understanding the external side: seeing ourselves through others' eyes.
Where to start?
Self-awareness isn’t an overnight shift; it’s a lifelong process. If you’re wondering where to begin, there are plenty of helpful resources, from personality assessments like Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, and DiSC to tools like journaling, meditation, and mindfulness exercises, which can reveal patterns and emotions that often go unnoticed.
(If you’re curious to learn more, feel free to reach out!)
But one of the most powerful tools I’ve found is feedback from others.
That simple! Think about 360 reviews or similar assessments where you get input from colleagues at all levels. They’re eye-opening, right?
You often learn one or two things about yourself that you didn’t know, sometimes positive, sometimes constructive. Yet we rarely do this outside of formal settings and almost never in our personal lives with those closest to us.
Asking for feedback might feel awkward at first, and it does require the right moment and a safe space to establish trust. But if you keep the benefits in mind - the valuable insights that can arise - it becomes easier to take that first step.
Here’s an exercise: Try reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or colleague with a few open-ended questions that encourage honest responses naturally:
What do you think my strengths are?
Are there areas where you think I could improve?
If you could suggest one habit for me to adjust that might help me grow or work better with others, what would it be?
Is there anything I do that you find surprising or unexpected?
Take that first step, ask those questions, and stay open to discovering who you truly are.
Fall in love with the process of constantly learning about yourself - it’s one of the best investments in your growth and happiness!
Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom ~ Aristotle.
Self-awareness is not about being perfect or fixing yourself; it’s about embracing your strengths, knowing where you can improve, and enjoying the journey.
Each step forward and every insight not only enhances your career and relationships but also deepens your understanding of yourself, your impact on others, and your sense of fulfillment.
Hi, I am Marina Korotkikh - your go-to Energy and Time Management Coach for High Performers. I help you go from Point A (Always too busy, never enough time) to Point B (Clear, Energized, and In Control) in 70 days using my P.E.A.C.E. framework.
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